Q: Why does a miller wear a white hat?
A: To cover his head (P. 34)
* As a result of the uniquely hallowed place held by Fred Drake’s Conundrums as the go-to reference volume of American religion, this particularly joke is credited with introducing the false stereotype that all millers were Jewish (known as the “dough libel”) — because who else would need to keep their head covered all the time?
In actual fact, the miller’s famous white cap was an early attempt at workplace safety. The crop-killing droughts God visited upon America in anger over its hedonistic gilded age lifestyle left the heartland without wheat, forcing millers to make flour out of whatever nuts, bolts, or human bones they could obtain from the local junk man. In addition to being disappointing in the flavor department, this sort of milling was far more dangerous.
Fig. 808 – A miller (r.) inspects a porch, soon to be ground into your morning bread.
Shrapnel wounds were near-constant, but the noisy mill drowned out the blood-curdling screams of the injured. Thus the need for the headgear: the easily-stained white caps made blood stains more noticeable, alerting floor stewards which workers needed to be taken to the hospital and docked a day’s pay.
